1.需要一篇不超过3分钟的英语演讲稿,要幽默有趣,中英对照

Ladies and Gentlemen, Good morning! I'm very glad to stand here and give you a short speech. Man's life is a process of growing up, actually I'm standing here is a growth. If a person's life must constituted by various choices, then I grow up along with these choices. once I hope I can study in a college in future, however that's passed, as you know I come here, now I wonder what the future holds for me. When I come to this school, I told to myself: this my near future, all starts here. Following I will learn to become a man, a integrated man, who has a fine body, can take on important task, has independent thought, an open mind, intensive thought, has the ability to judge right and wrong, has a perfect job. once my teacher said :” you are not sewing, you are stylist; never forget which you should lay out to people is your thought, not craft.” I will put my personality with my interest and ability into my study, during these process I will combine learning with doing. If I can achieve this “future”, I think that I really grow up. And I deeply believe kindred, good-fellowship and love will perfection and happy in the future. How to say future? Maybe it's a nice wish. Lets make up our minds, stick to it and surely well enjoy our life. 中文大意： 女士们，先生们，上午好。

我很高兴在这里为大家作一个简短的讲话。 人的一生是一个成长的过程，事实上，我现在站在这里也是一次成长。

如果一个人的一生必须面临不同的选择，那么我就是伴随着这些选择成长起来的。曾经我盼望将来能上大学，然而那已经过去了，现在我在这儿，只想知道我的未来会是什么样的。

当我来到这所学校，我告诉我自己：我不久的将来都从这里开始。接着我要学习如何做人，如何做一个正直的人，并且拥有一个健康的体魄，能承担重要的任务，能独立思考，思想开放，心思缜密，有判断是非的能力，有一份不错的工作。

我的老师曾经告诉我说：“你不是在修补而是在创造；永远不要忘记你向人们所展示的是你的思想，而不是你的手艺。”我会将我的性格，兴趣爱好和能力一起融入到学习中7a686964616fe58685e5aeb931333431353938去。

在这过程中，我边学习边实践。如果我能实现这个“未来”，我就认为我真的成长了。

并且我深信我的亲人，好朋友以及爱会使我的未来更完美，更幸福。 如何来解释未来呢？ 也许那只是一个美好的愿望。

让我们下定决心，坚持到底，那我们的人生一定能过得很精彩。参考资料： 。

2.三分钟的英语演讲稿,无主题,幽默点最好

Students, Hello everybody!

My name is (), () years old.

Enjoy learning English and enjoy reading about the kind of book in English, but learning English is not my best subject.

I often do some exercise, I was free. My eyes are not large, and my hair is short.

today i am going to hold a topic about the animals

personally,i am very like animals,beacause i think all the creatures are our friend。

i like lion ,leopard ,tiger,wolf,dog and so on。

i like them especially when they running free,i felt so cool when they running。

Lion is my favourite animal ,cause they are strength,powerful and brave ,but quite cute some time。

i dont like snake,i feel afraid and sick of them,indeed ,i thought them is very fearful。

anyway ,i do hope people dont hurt any kinds of animal and be remember :animal is our friend。 we should protect them and take care of them。

My lecture finished, thank you!

同学们，大家好！

我的名字是（），（）岁。

享受学习英语，享受英语书读的那种，但学英语不是我最好的科目。

我常常做一些运动，我是自由的。我的眼睛不是很大，我的头发是短的。

今天我要把有关动物的话题

就我个人而言，我非常喜欢动物，因为我认为动物们都是我们的朋友。

我喜欢狮子，豹子，老虎，狼，狗等等。

我喜欢他们，特别是当他们自由的奔跑，我觉得很酷的当他们运行。

狮子是我最喜欢的动物，因为他们的力量，强大和勇敢，但很可爱的一段时间。

我喜欢蛇，我的确感到害怕和厌恶他们，，我认为他们是很可怕的。

无论如何，我希望人们也伤害任何一种动物，记住：动物是我们的朋友。我们应该保护他们，照顾他们。

我的演讲完毕，谢谢！

3.三分钟幽默英语演讲

Class, Lass and AssProfessor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day, so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: "Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow."A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor after reading the notice, walked up and erased the "c" in the word "class." The Professor noticing the laughter, wheeled around, walked back, looked at the student, then at the notice with the "c" erased--calmly walked up and erased the "l" in "lass", looked at the flabbergasted student and proceeded on his way.班级、情人和蠢驴汤姆教授打算第二天与他的学生见面，因此他在黑板上写道：“汤姆教授明天将和大家见面”。

一位学生看到这条通知后，觉得展示自己幽默感的机会来了，就走上前，将“class”中的“c”擦掉，将意思变为“汤姆教授明天将和情妇见面”。教授听到笑声，转过身走回来，看了看那位学生，又看看被改动过的通知，不动声色地走上前，把“lass”中的“l”擦掉，将意思改为“汤姆教授明天将和蠢驴见面”。

看了看那位目瞪口呆的学生，教授扬长而去。Be Much WorsePoliceman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.可能更糟警察：当你的手表被抢的时候，你为什么不大声喊叫呢？男士：如果我张嘴喊叫，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。

那样情况就更糟了！Wait a MinuteTom: My grand God, what does a millennium mean to you?God: It only means a minute.Tom: My omnipotent god, what do 10,000 golden coins mean to you?God: Just a small coin.Tom: My humane god, please give me a small coin.God: Ok, poor man, please wait a minute.等一分钟汤姆：我伟大的上帝，一千年对你来说，意味着什么？上帝：它只意味着一分钟。汤姆：我万能的上帝，一万枚金币对你来说，意味着什么？上帝：它只意味着一枚小硬币。

汤姆：我仁慈的上帝，那就请给我一枚小硬币吧！上帝：好吧，可怜的人，请等一分钟吧。THE FIRST TIMEPatient: I'm so frightened, this is my first operation.Surgeon: I know just how you feel. This is my first operation, too.第一次病人：我很害怕，这是我第一次动手术。

外科医生：我完全理解你的心情。这也是我第一次动手术。

GOOD SIGHTLawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly?Witness: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away.好视力律师：你说你离事故现场约有35英尺，你能看清多远的东西？证人：这么说吧，早上起床后我看见太阳，别人告诉我这大约有9300万英里远。EXPENSIVE ADVICEThe doctor finally reached his table at a dinner, after breaking away from a woman who sought advice on a health problem."Do you think I should send her a bill?" the doctor asked a lawyer who sat next to him."Why not?" the lawyer replied. "You rendered professional services by giving advice.""Thanks," the physician said. "I think I'll do that."When the doctor went to his office the next day to send the bill to the woman, he found a letter from the lawyer. It read:"For legal services, $50."昂贵的建议大夫在打发走了一个就健康问题向他咨询的妇女之后，最后来到餐桌上。

“你认为我应该向她收费吗？”大夫问坐在身边的一个律师。“有什么不应该？”律师答道，“你通过提建议提供了职业性服务。”

“谢谢，”大夫说道，“看来我得这么做。”第二天当大夫去办公室给那位妇女写账单时，他收到律师的一封信。

信中写道：“请付法律服务费50美元。”HIS FAULTBilly: Mother, Bobby broke a window.Mother: How did he do it?Billy: I threw a rock at him and he ducked.他的错比利：妈妈，波比打坏了窗玻璃。

妈妈：他怎么打的？比利：我向他扔石头，他躲开了。TELEMARKETERI answered the phone one evening and quickly realized the voice on the other end belonged to a telemarketer."Good evening," he said, "may I speak with Leah Jonason?""She is a baby, " I replied."All right," said the caller, "I'll try again later."电话推销员一天晚上我接了一个电话，对方的声音使我很快意识到他是个电话推销员。

“晚上好，”他说，“我想和利厄乔纳森说话。”“她是个婴儿，”我回答说。

“没关系，”他说，“我以后再打。”。

4.有趣的三分钟英语演讲关于人生

What is successThere are somethings success is not.It's not fame.It's not money or power.Success is waking up in the morning so excited about what you have to do that you literally fly out the door.It's getting to work with people you love.Success is connecting with the world and making people feel.It's finding a way to bind together people who have nothing in common but a dream.It's falling asleep at night knowing you did the best job you could.Success is joy and freedom and friendship.And success is love.。

5.求一篇三分钟的英语演讲稿,内容积极向上或者幽默风趣

A young man and an old man were waiting for a bus at a station.They sat next to each other.

“What's that in your bag?”asked the young man,pointing to a big bag beside the old man.

“Gold,nothing but gold,”answered the old man.

The young man could hardly believe his own ears,“What?”he said to himself in surprise.“So much gold?My God!How I wish to be able to get so much gold!”Then he began to think about how to get the gold.

The old man looked tired and sleepy and it seemed that he could hardly keep his eyes open.“Are you sleepy,sir?”asked the young man.“Then you'd better lie down on the chair and have a good rest.Don't worry about the bus.I'll wake you up in time.”

“All right.It's very kind of you,young man.”The old man lay down and before long he fell asleep.

The young man took the big bag gently.But when he was about to run away,he found a corner of his fur coat was under the old man's body.Several times he tried to pull it out,but he couldn't.At last he took off his coat and went away with the bag.

The young man ran out of the station as quickly as his legs could carry him.When he reached a place where he thought the old man couldn't find him,he stopped and quickly opened the bag.

To his surprise,there was nothing but a lot of small stones in it.He hurried to the station at once.But when he got there,he found the old man was gone.

6.三分钟幽默英语演讲

Class, Lass and Ass Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day, so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: "Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow." A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor after reading the notice, walked up and erased the "c" in the word "class." The Professor noticing the laughter, wheeled around, walked back, looked at the student, then at the notice with the "c" erased--calmly walked up and erased the "l" in "lass", looked at the flabbergasted student and proceeded on his way.班级、情人和蠢驴 汤姆教授打算第二天与他的学生见面，因此他在黑板上写道：“汤姆教授明天将和大家见面”。

一位学生看到这条通知后，觉得展示自己幽默感的机会来了，就走上前，将“class”中的“c”擦掉，将意思变为“汤姆教授明天将和情妇见面”。教授听到笑声，转过身走回来，看了看那位学生，又看看被改动过的通知，不动声色地走上前，把“lass”中的“l”擦掉，将意思改为“汤姆教授明天将和蠢驴见面”。

看了看那位目瞪口呆的学生，教授扬长而去。Be Much Worse Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.可能更糟 警察：当你的手表被抢的时候，你为什么不大声喊叫呢？男士：如果我张嘴喊叫，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。

那样情况就更糟了！Wait a Minute Tom: My grand God, what does a millennium mean to you?God: It only means a minute.Tom: My omnipotent god, what do 10,000 golden coins mean to you?God: Just a small coin.Tom: My humane god, please give me a small coin.God: Ok, poor man, please wait a minute.等一分钟 汤姆：我伟大的上帝，一千年对你来说，意味着什么？上帝：它只意味着一分钟。汤姆：我万能的上帝，一万枚金币对你来说，意味着什么？上帝：它只意味着一枚小硬币。

汤姆：我仁慈的上帝，那就请给我一枚小硬币吧！上帝：好吧，可怜的人，请等一分钟吧。THE FIRST TIME Patient: I'm so frightened, this is my first operation.Surgeon: I know just how you feel. This is my first operation, too.第一次 病人：我很害怕，这是我第一次动手术。

外科医生：我完全理解你的心情。这也是我第一次动手术。

GOOD SIGHT Lawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly?Witness: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away.好视力 律师：你说你离事故现场约有35英尺，你能看清多远的东西？证人：这么说吧，早上起床后我看见太阳，别人告诉我这大约有9300万英里远。EXPENSIVE ADVICE The doctor finally reached his table at a dinner, after breaking away from a woman who sought advice on a health problem."Do you think I should send her a bill?" the doctor asked a lawyer who sat next to him."Why not?" the lawyer replied. "You rendered professional services by giving advice.""Thanks," the physician said. "I think I'll do that." When the doctor went to his office the next day to send the bill to the woman, he found a letter from the lawyer. It read:"For legal services, $50." 昂贵的建议 大夫在打发走了一个就健康问题向他咨询的妇女之后，最后来到餐桌上。

“你认为我应该向她收费吗？”大夫问坐在身边的一个律师。“有什么不应该？”律师答道，“你通过提建议提供了职业性服务。”

“谢谢，”大夫说道，“看来我得这么做。” 第二天当大夫去办公室给那位妇女写账单时，他收到律师的一封信。

信中写道：“请付法律服务费50美元。” HIS FAULT Billy: Mother, Bobby broke a window.Mother: How did he do it?Billy: I threw a rock at him and he ducked.他的错 比利：妈妈，波比打坏了窗玻璃。

妈妈：他怎么打的？比利：我向他扔石头，他躲开了。TELEMARKETER I answered the phone one evening and quickly realized the voice on the other end belonged to a telemarketer."Good evening," he said, "may I speak with Leah Jonason?""She is a baby, " I replied."All right," said the caller, "I'll try again later." 电话推销员 一天晚上我接了一个电话，对方的声音使我很快意识到他是个电话推销员。

“晚上好，”他说，“我想和利厄乔纳森说话。” “她是个婴儿，”我回答说。

“没关系，”他说，“我以后再打。”。

7.高分求英语幽默的演讲稿,比较简单的,时间要求3分钟左右

Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

它们是从美国直接带来的

一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。

An Alarm Clock

A young man went to a mountain village for his holiday. One night he stayed at a small hotel near a train station.

Before going to bed, he went to the owner of the hotel and said to the old man, “ Excuse me, sir. Will you please wake me up at a quarter to five? I'm going to take the five o'clock train tomorrow morning. ”

“ Oh, sorry, ” the owner said, “ I am afraid I can't. I don't get up that early. ”

The young man started to go back to his room when he stopped and asked, “ Do you have an alarm clock? That would help me. ”

“ Yes, here it is, young man. ”

The young man took the clock happily and thanked the old man. But when he looked at it carefully, there appeared to be something wrong with it.

“ Does it ring on time? ” he asked the old man.

“ Sure! Just shake it when it's time to get up, and it'll ring. ”

一只闹钟

一个年轻人到一个山村去度假。那天夜里，他住宿在火车站附近的一个旅馆里。

上床睡之前，他对旅馆老板——一个老头儿说：“对不起，先生，请问您能在五点差一刻叫醒我吗？我明天早晨要乘五点的火车。”

“哦，很抱歉”，旅馆老板说，“恐怕不行，我不可能起那么早。”

年轻人正想回到房间去，又停住了问：“那你有闹钟吗？或许它能帮助我。”

“我有，给你，年轻人。”

年轻人很高兴地拿了闹钟，谢了老头儿。但当他仔细查看了闹钟后，发现似乎有毛病。

“它能准时闹吗？”他问老头儿。

“那当然！时间一到，你摇一摇，他就会响的。”

8.英语演讲稿3分钟带翻译

Keep Your Direction 坚持你的方向

What would you do if you failed? Many people may choose to give up. However, the surest way to success is to keep your direction and stick to your goal.

On your way to success, you must keep your direction. It is just like a lamp, guiding you in darkness and helping you overcome obstacles on your way. Otherwise, you will easily get lost or hesitate to go ahead.

Direction means objectives. You can get nowhere without an objective in life.

You can try to write your objective on paper and make some plans to achieve it. In this way, you will know how to arrange your time and to spend your time properly. And you should also have a belief that you are sure to succeed as long as you keep your direction all the time.

翻译：

如果失败了你会怎么做？很多人可能会选择放弃。然而，要想成功，最可靠的方法就是坚持你的方向和目标。

在通往成功的路上，你必须坚持你的方向。它就像一盏灯，在黑暗中为你指路，帮助你度过难关。否则，你很容易就会迷失方向或犹豫不前。

方向意味着目标。人生如果没有目标，将一事无成。

你可以试着把你的目标写在纸上，并制定实现目标的计划。这样，你就会懂得如何合理安排时间，如何正确地支配时间。而且你还要有这样的信念：只要你一直坚持自己的方向，你就一定可以成功。

9.求一篇3分钟的英语演讲稿

The story goes that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face.

The one who got slapped felt hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand: "Today my best friend slapped me in the face."

They kept on walking until they found an oasis where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him.

After he recovered from the nearly drowning, he wrote on a stone: "Today my best friend saved my life."

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "When I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now you write on a stone. Why?"

The other friend replied: "When someone hurts us we should write it down in the sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it on stone where no wind can ever erase it."

10.求一篇英语的讲演稿,要求三分钟,最好是简单点,有点幽默

Good News and Bad News

The soldiers had been marching and fighting, they were dirty, hot and tired. One day, the general announced: "My men, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which one would you like first?"

"The good news!" they all shouted.

"OK," said the General. "The good news is that you will each be receiving a complete change of clothing."

"Hurrah!" chorused the soldiers.

"And now for the bad news. Jack, you will change with John. John, you will change with Tom. Tom, you will change with Robert. Robert 。.

好消息和坏消息

士兵们连续的行军，作战，他们又累又热又脏。一天，将军宣布： “士兵们，我有一些好消息和坏消息要告诉你们。你们愿意先听哪个呢？”

“好消息！”他们嚷道。

定海翅剿俨济愁汐传搂 “好吧，”将军说，“好消息就是你们每个人都可以彻底的换一身衣服。”

“乌拉！”士兵们高兴地大叫起来。

“现在呢，该是坏消息了。杰克，你将和约翰换衣服，约翰，你和汤姆换，汤姆，你和罗伯特换，罗伯特……”