【雅思作文修改最好是考过雅思且写作7分以上的朋友``````

Shopping now is very popular among people.Both men and women（复数） tend to spend a large part of their free time on this activity instead of the traditional ones of the past.（什么是traditional ones of the past？最好有such as。

这样的说清楚，另外这个说法不地道，换成other traditional ways such as。怎么样？） As for this phenomenon,there are several reasons（下面说的都叫原因？改：points） which will be discussed below and in my opinion this development（换成trend趋势） is a positive one.（这句我想全换掉：there are several points related I would like to discuss below and personally I think this development is a positive one.）On one hand,nowadays,the globe（换成global） economy（换：economics，经济） develops（单数） day by day and the standard of peoples live（中式英语，换：peoples living quality生活质量） has reached a high level compared with any other times in history（用了compare with，却没有比较级？换：has reached a level higher than any other time in history）.The fact is that enormous（巨大的庞大的？换：numerous） people dont need（换：have） to be much struggled（换：直接用主动时态 to struggle） to get their stomach filled.So(So在这里停顿很唐突，不如As a result),the desire to enjoy the life is becoming intensely(more and more intensely，强调形象化过程).And obviously,shopping is a wonderful way to cater this demand since the majority of enjoyments in our lives depend on concrete things.For example,when we luckily find a thing (such as a dress) that we like so much and finally possess it successfully（成功的拥有，中式英语，换成finally are ble to possess it如何？），we will get quite satisfied（将来时在这里不必要，陈述的是一般事实，we get quite satisfied）.On the other hand,we all cannot deny that the（去掉the，非特指） shopping centers are really “well-equipped” for they do not only provide us with the merchandises they sold（换sell或者are selling） but places to rest and eat something(eat一个字就够了，与rest并列，加上somthing反而失去了行文节奏)，making them（指代不明，which makes these shopping centers） even more attractive.(on the other hand的内容比on one hand少的比较多，有点感觉敷衍，加点内容丰富一下？)As far as I can see,this development undeniable（形容词，还后置？你想表达不可避免的意思吗？this inevitable development） should be accepted and thought highly of.because（首字母大写） of the role as a the indication of the demand for better living standard it plays（建议定语后置，话说起来不累，because of the role it plays as an indication of。）

,which could be considered as the sample of societys development to some extent（如果此处再用which引导，那么这句话主干在哪里？换成：the trend of more shopping activities could be considered as。）.Whats more is that nearly all the people are acting as both the customer and the producer(the seller or the producer),so the good shopping situation could (also) benefit the business of（改：for） a lot of people.So（改In conclusion/In summary）,because of（改为：based on 基于） what I have mentioned above,the development of shopping is mainly a result of the development（换成that，因为前面已经有the development，指代一下就行） of (the)society in many spheres（换：aspects） such as economy（改：economics.economy的意思在这里不对，经济，省钱？） and since it is a（换an） indication of better living standard（用了多少次standard？换：quality） and living creed(what is living creed?),the trend must be positive as I think（如果你第一段最后一句用我改的，那么这里换成in my opionion,I think这样的话要少出现在议论文里，会削弱你的论调和语气.文章的意思和论调非常清楚，基本议论文结构也很清楚，语法上的细节问题要注意，有些中式英语要尽量避免Good job!。

雅思7分作文,7.5分作文,8分作文,这三个档次的作文差距区别具体

雅思能上7分词汇已不是问题，而最主要的还是语法了，以下五大句型助你成就高分：从哲学角度来说万物是分为静止和运动两种状态。

静止状态下的万物1.什么是什么：English is important.2.什么是什么样的：English is an important language.运动状态下的万物1.谁做事情 He learns English.2.事情发生由这4种概念到英语的5种基本句型1.主系表（静态句/事实句）English is important/ an important language.2. 主谓宾（动态句/事件句）名/代+动词 He learns English.3.主+谓+（不及物动词）He left.4.主+谓（含有“给予”的含义）+间宾+直宾I teach him English.5.主+谓+宾（需要进一步补充说明）+宾补he thinks it difficult.最后为大家补充一些词的种类及其功能：名词：万物（人/物）的名称。形容词：帮助我们区分形形色色的万物，为名词所服务，做定语。

动词：用来描述 运动 状态的下万物。副词：用来描述1/2的万物的运动情况，做状语。

代词：用来指代万物的。以上就是同学们在备考雅思的时候需要掌握的基础句子结构知识，更多关于雅思写作方面的问题，最好是找个专门的老师咨询下，会教你技巧及技能。

雅思写作7分的三个标准是什么？ -

首先，统一性。

一篇优秀的作文不仅仅在于词汇与句式的表达上，更注重的是这篇文章是否满足了统一性的要求，也就是说文章是否紧扣主题，段落安排是否合理，句子论述是否恰到好处等等。统一性是指所写的作文应该紧扣主题，也就是作者的核心观点，并要注意人称、文体和时态上的一致。

此外，文章内容要均衡，不偏多或缺少。 统一性除了从文章整体上来体现之外，还要求每个段落的句子同样要满足统一性。

一个段落通常由主题句和扩展句所构成，所以句子统一性则体现在主题句和扩展句上面。主题句是一个段落必不可少的成分，是一个段落的核心所在，也就是作者想要表达的中心观点，在一个段落中主题句应该只说明一个问题，或是一个问题的某个方面。

每段只应有一个中心，任何偏离中心之外的句子都是无用的。而扩展句则必须紧密围绕着这个中心，给予充分说明，通过分析和议论，从而形成一个有机的整体。

总之，文章的统一性是判断雅思作文质量的重要标准之一，考生要多多重视。 其次，完整性。

文章仅仅有统一性还远远不够，完整性也是不可或缺的因素。文章段落的主题思想除了由主题句提出之外，还要依靠扩展句来实现，这就要求扩展句进一步补充和说明，比如举出具体事例加以证明，以便把主题解释清楚等，从而构成一个完整的段落。

不过，即使扩展句表达充分，主题句却缺失或是没有恰当地表达出来，也会给读者一种意犹未尽的感觉。所以，只有保证文章的完整性才会让文章更加饱满贴切地表达出作者的所思所想，让读者理解的更加透彻。

最后，连贯性。 文章的连贯性与统一性紧密相关，是组词造句的基本要求。

句子的统一性和连贯性是相辅相成的，统一性要求紧扣主题，而连贯性则要求整篇文章前后连贯，也要求句子和段落之间相互关联并衔接自然。此外，句子与句子之间也要有一种自然逻辑关系，进而形成有机的整体。

但是很多考生在写作时往往想到哪写到哪，句子安排的乱七八糟，缺乏连续性，结果只能给读者留下一种不成文或是找不到逻辑的感觉。为了达到连贯性的要求，考生可以适当地运用一些连接词，比如therefore、however等等，让文章内容连接的更加自然顺畅。

7分雅思作文高分范文及翻译：如何解决垃圾问题

1：语法错误就太多了啊。

if a person does not work hard.:2：还有句子表达也很不清晰。这个第二段没看明白要表达啥。

。：3:With thedevelopment of society,more and more folks take part in a kind of activitieswhich are sports and music.这个句子忠实英文口味太重了。

建议可以该为Economic development provided more opportunities for people to enjoy sports or music after work.（或者这句不是你想要表达的意思） 上面只是大概扫了一眼，这篇作文还有很多要润色的啊。

雅思作文提高：7分写作范文之博物馆有什么用

Some people think that museums should beenjoyable places to entertain people, while othersbelieve that the purpose of museums is to educate.Discuss both views and give you own opinion.People have different views about the role andfunction of museums. In my opinion, museums can and should be both entertaining andeducational.On the one hand, it can be argued that the main role of a museum is to entertain. Museumsare tourist attractions, and their aim is to exhibit a collection of interesting objects that manypeople will want to see. The average visitor may become bored if he or she has to read or listento too much educational content, so museums often put more of an emphasis on enjoymentrather than learning. This type of museum is designed to be visually spectacular, and may haveinteractive activities or even games as part of its exhibitions.On the other hand, some people argue that museums should focus on education. The aim ofany exhibition should be to teach visitors something that they did not previously know.Usually this means that the history behind the museums exhibits needs to be explained, andthis can be done in various ways. Some museums employ professional guides to talk to theirvisitors, while other museums offer headsets so that visitors can listen to detailedcommentary about the exhibition. In this way, museums can play an important role inteaching people about history, culture, science and many other aspects of life.In conclusion, it seems to me that a good museum should be able to offer an interesting,enjoyable and educational experience so that people can have fun and learn something at thesame time.。