雅思作文求评分,谢谢啦

我觉得你写的不错，结构很清晰，论点和论据一目了然。长短句结合。也有例子具体的分数我不好评，因为我的作文也就考了6.5.我就说说我认为的不足的地方吧，希望能帮到你。

第一是按照你的观点，你认为先工作旅游是好的，那么主体写的时候最好先写你不同意的观点。也就是把你这两个主体段换一下位置。第二是如果你想拿高分，最好能用上一些好词来代替比较普通和简单的表述。第三是我觉得最后的conclusion说这样可能会让年轻人找到一些方向这个观点应该是一个新的观点吧？你的支持段里并没有说到这个好处。而结论段式不允许出现新的观点的，应该是总结你的陈述。如果你想加上这个支持观点可以写进主体段里。然后综上所示，虽然先工作旅游有一些缺点，但是它既可以增长知识，又可以帮助青少年更好的实现目标。所以你支持先工作旅游这一观点。

总体来看六分以上是绝对没问题的，如果结合你小作文也不错的话，六点五的可能比较大，当然没准儿对哪个考官的胃口七分也不是没有可能的。

剑5TEST2大作文求改,想知道自己最大的问题在那里？牛人们帮忙

帮你贴还没有看但是第一印象就是40分钟内你绝对写不了那么多.What,you maywonder,is the consequences of youngsters finding a job or beginning a travelduring the time of a year rather than entering the classroom in universityimmediately of who have just graduated from high schools and are going to befreshman in colleges.Although,inspired by their parents and teachers,he or she undoubtedlymake up his or her mind to explore the society and the world by a job or atrip,it seems that with some positive effects being brought,the negative onesalso emerge among above activities. Why these wayschose by so many young student become second to none on acquainting themselveswith real society can be illustrated by the cause that through normal teachingon class from high school to college only theoretical knowledge are absorbedcompletely by students.By contrast,the practical skills such as the ability ofcommunication are really hard to be taught at school,which need real backgroundsand visual negotiations with strangers.Because of this,if somebody look forwardto adapt cruel society in advance,it is necessary for them to spent such a yearon getting in touch with the real world.Furthermore,these future students incampus are easier to make friend with the strangers who they never meet bycooperating with others or helping each other during the trip.And the biggestadvantage they can obtain is that with the chance of ** every crucial decisionto cope with difficulties happened during this year,self-esteem would beencouraged and self-knowledge also can be fulfilled. However,likepatients take pills to control diseases accompanied by side effect,thedisadvantages of having interim year to experience the true world and becomemature in psychology are also brought about.Firstly,it is inevitable that aftergetting salary and earning money in work or enjoying themselves at touristsites the interests on study will naturally decreae and the attraction ofknowledge will deminsh at the same time,followed by the behaviours of skipingthe courses and giving up the goal in life.Even worse,there are manytemptations such as luxury hotels and modern pubs that lead to a wrong way tocourt material lifestyles and then make them hated in study. In myopinion,before starting the first social course in lifetime,the right guidancesfrom parents and teachers is essential to make sure that these vivid youthswill not be disturbed by bad things.only in this way,can these activities abouta year be useful for young people and the whole society.。

剑10 test1 小作文什么意思

剑10test1小作文，家用能源和气体排放The above two charts depict the Austrilianhousehold energy use and the corresponding gas emissions of each type of energyuse.From the first pie chart we could see thatwater heating and heating are two major types of energy use, which occupies 30%and 42% of all the energy used in one household. Other appliances use 15% ofthe energy, and then refrigeration, lighting and cooling, which share the left13% of energy.Figures in the second chart are quitedifferent from that of the first chart. Heating, which consumes 42% of a householdsenergy, only emits 15% of all the gas that one household produces. But the gasemission and energy use of water heating are pretty even, at around 30%. Costs only7% of all the energy, refrigeration produces 14% of all the gas, which goes forthe condition of other appliances and the figures are 15% and 28%, and for thecondition of lighting, 4% and 8%. Cooling consumes 2% of energy and contributesto 3% of gas emission.To sum up, water heating and heatingconsume 72% of energy and produces only 47% of gas. Refrigeration and otherappliances, though only use 22% of energy, emit 42% of gas.大作文， 教小孩是非观要不要从小时候就开始教， 要不要punishmentIndeed, children need to learn how to tellright from wrong as they grow into adults. But as far as I am concerned, it isbetter for us to teach this ability to them when they are older rather than atan early age. Moreover, certain punishments are required to make sure childrencould behave themselves.For starter, it would be easier for us toteach children about the difference between right and wrong when they becomeolder. Young children, due to their lack of life experience, have difficultiesin understanding moral lectures. However, after they grow up a little, theycould better digest the meaning of what is right and wrong based on their pastexperience, thus will grasp the notion of right and wrong more easily andthoroughly.Similarly, older children tend to know moreabout punishment, and will be able to learn from the punishment caused by theirfail to recognize the distinction between right and wrong. Punishment mighthave long-lasting influences on younger children for they are too fragile. Olderchildren, on the other hand, could handle punishment more with ease and couldfigure out the reason they got punished. Therefore, they could gain betterunderstanding about right and wrong than younger children do.The sort of punishment for parents andteachers to use whey they are trying to teach children about good behavior is asubtle issue. But the function of punishment is undeniable. It is necessary topunish a child because of his or her wrong acting. I suggest to use criticizeor physical training, such as asking children to do cleaning, as punishment.To conclude, teaching children about rightand wrong should be waited until children become older. Accompanied by certainways of punishment, the teaching process would be more productive.。

批改作文 剑七 test2 task2

"基本完成了任务，5.5分 具体点评如下：点评1 Nowadays,a hot and important contraversy /controversy concerning the problem whether the punishments for each type of crimes should be fixed.全句没有谓语，而且whether 后面也不是句子。

这种错误一定要避免。可以在important后面加 is. Whether 后面可改成：whether punishments for each type of crime should be fixed 2 Some people contend that the consistent punishments seems to be fairer and more clearly/clear.while a large amount proporation/去掉 of people advocate that it depends on individual situation.I will present and analyde both views here.取其把题目几乎不做改动的抄一遍，可以选择其他的开篇方式，people have various opinions concerning whether punishments for each type of crime should be fixed. As for me， + 观点3 The first plain truth I want to emphasize here is that every crimes/crime has its own reasons and results/不相关，去掉，it can not be divided/judged simplity/simply from one aspect. So that the decision which considered/consider different circumstance turns to be positive reasonable. 论证有些浅，可以深度解释，也可举例，否则就成了喊口考了Furthermore, with the complicate motivation and action, there has/is not a boundry/boundary line/去掉 between two similar commitment in current days. The flexible punishment system will not fail to be one good way to show the society that the government care about them, and thus ,the general public are able to participate more in government policy determination/policy-making. Last but not least,the sdandadization of law has been improved rapidly in these years. Even two crimes lead to the same result, ones original intension to commite should be taking account /should be taken into account to replect/replace the regular law setup.4 Admittedly, fixed punishments have some merits. Under the fixed punishment system, the law enforcement officials have definite rules to follow. The crimes will make up some excuses for themselves to get/gain the jurys simpathy/sympathy , and escape from the judgment they due to/are due to receive. But with the developed law system, this problem can be solved efficiently. 跑题了这一段有一半是跑题的，要谈固定刑罚的理由，而不是如果避免法庭上不公平5 In conclusion,altough/although fixed punishment policy has deniable/undeniable advantages, I regard the flexible system as a better choice. It is the best way for us to get a clear perspevtive/perspective of what teh/the crimes got/what type of punishment law offenders should get relied on/according to their crimes what they have done/去掉.with such a perspective, we can own a more peaceful society."。

【求好心的老师可以细批一下我的雅思作文100分送上作文是剑桥五text

The first chart illustrates what is the main reason for study among different age students. The second chart indicates how much support (is) received from employers in different age group. As can be seen, the percentage of those who study for career saw (sees) a fall with the age grown (grows). But ,while the percentage of (whose 改为 those) who study for interest is increasing and the proportion of employers support(s) hits a bottom in the age group (of) 30-39.(For those) Under 26, (the) proportion of those who study for career(s) (stand 改为 is standing) at 80% that (study) for interest (is) only at 10%. However , with the age grown (grows) that (study) for career decreases to just over 20% in (the) group of over 49 that (study) for interest rises to 70%.The proportion of employer support reaches at over 60% in the group of under 26, and experiences a downward trend ,bottom(s) at (just) over 30% in (the) group of 30-39, before rising (again), which grows to over 40% in (the) group of over 49.其实你写得非常之好，文体结构和语法运用正确，无须更改，只是有一些错漏，为了方便你可以知道错在那里，我用括号把修改了的括著.另外你问楼上为甚麽with the age grows 而不是with the age growing，这个你只要看你自己写的最后一句 which grows to over 40% in the group of over 49. 便应该知道是同一原因.还有一样要提醒你的是： that 和 which 的准确标点符号法.that 之前是不用逗号的，但which之前则一定要用逗号，这是一个重要的英语文法.请切记！。

剑10 test1 小作文什么意思

剑10test1 小作文，家用能源和气体排放 The above two charts depict the Austrilianhousehold energy use and the corresponding gas emissions of each type of energyuse.From the first pie chart we could see thatwater heating and heating are two major types of energy use, which occupies 30%and 42% of all the energy used in one household. Other appliances use 15% ofthe energy, and then refrigeration, lighting and cooling, which share the left13% of energy.Figures in the second chart are quitedifferent from that of the first chart. Heating, which consumes 42% of a householdsenergy, only emits 15% of all the gas that one household produces. But the gasemission and energy use of water heating are pretty even, at around 30%. Costs only7% of all the energy, refrigeration produces 14% of all the gas, which goes forthe condition of other appliances and the figures are 15% and 28%, and for thecondition of lighting, 4% and 8%. Cooling consumes 2% of energy and contributesto 3% of gas emission.To sum up, water heating and heatingconsume 72% of energy and produces only 47% of gas. Refrigeration and otherappliances, though only use 22% of energy, emit 42% of gas.大作文， 教小孩是非观要不要从小时候就开始教， 要不要punishment Indeed, children need to learn how to tellright from wrong as they grow into adults. But as far as I am concerned, it isbetter for us to teach this ability to them when they are older rather than atan early age. Moreover, certain punishments are required to make sure childrencould behave themselves.For starter, it would be easier for us toteach children about the difference between right and wrong when they becomeolder. Young children, due to their lack of life experience, have difficultiesin understanding moral lectures. However, after they grow up a little, theycould better digest the meaning of what is right and wrong based on their pastexperience, thus will grasp the notion of right and wrong more easily andthoroughly.Similarly, older children tend to know moreabout punishment, and will be able to learn from the punishment caused by theirfail to recognize the distinction between right and wrong. Punishment mighthave long-lasting influences on younger children for they are too fragile. Olderchildren, on the other hand, could handle punishment more with ease and couldfigure out the reason they got punished. Therefore, they could gain betterunderstanding about right and wrong than younger children do.The sort of punishment for parents andteachers to use whey they are trying to teach children about good behavior is asubtle issue. But the function of punishment is undeniable. It is necessary topunish a child because of his or her wrong acting. I suggest to use criticizeor physical training, such as asking children to do cleaning, as punishment.To conclude, teaching children about rightand wrong should be waited until children become older. Accompanied by certainways of punishment, the teaching process would be more productive.。

批改作文 剑七 test2 task2

"基本完成了任务，5.5分 具体点评如下：点评1 Nowadays,a hot and important contraversy /controversy concerning the problem whether the punishments for each type of crimes should be fixed.全句没有谓语，而且whether 后面也不是句子。

这种错误一定要避免。可以在important后面加 is. Whether 后面可改成：whether punishments for each type of crime should be fixed 2 Some people contend that the consistent punishments seems to be fairer and more clearly/clear.while a large amount proporation/去掉 of people advocate that it depends on individual situation.I will present and analyde both views here.取其把题目几乎不做改动的抄一遍，可以选择其他的开篇方式，people have various opinions concerning whether punishments for each type of crime should be fixed. As for me， + 观点3 The first plain truth I want to emphasize here is that every crimes/crime has its own reasons and results/不相关，去掉，it can not be divided/judged simplity/simply from one aspect. So that the decision which considered/consider different circumstance turns to be positive reasonable. 论证有些浅，可以深度解释，也可举例，否则就成了喊口考了Furthermore, with the complicate motivation and action, there has/is not a boundry/boundary line/去掉 between two similar commitment in current days. The flexible punishment system will not fail to be one good way to show the society that the government care about them, and thus ,the general public are able to participate more in government policy determination/policy-making. Last but not least,the sdandadization of law has been improved rapidly in these years. Even two crimes lead to the same result, ones original intension to commite should be taking account /should be taken into account to replect/replace the regular law setup.4 Admittedly, fixed punishments have some merits. Under the fixed punishment system, the law enforcement officials have definite rules to follow. The crimes will make up some excuses for themselves to get/gain the jurys simpathy/sympathy , and escape from the judgment they due to/are due to receive. But with the developed law system, this problem can be solved efficiently. 跑题了这一段有一半是跑题的，要谈固定刑罚的理由，而不是如果避免法庭上不公平5 In conclusion,altough/although fixed punishment policy has deniable/undeniable advantages, I regard the flexible system as a better choice. It is the best way for us to get a clear perspevtive/perspective of what teh/the crimes got/what type of punishment law offenders should get relied on/according to their crimes what they have done/去掉.with such a perspective, we can own a more peaceful society."。